Home again, jiggity jig!

Things are moving fast around here..... Out of no where I found a great apartment. In the Mission. With a great landlord. I'm anxious to start moving in. But it has to wait.

Tomorrow morning I'm leaving to spend a week long vacation with the lovely miss Lane -- In Hickory, North Carolina. I'm anxious to get there.

I'm usually quite the opposite of anxious.

From GoldToe Lemon Nut:

Specifically, I now have a $1 bet with Jason Sutter about the trilogy's conclusion. He is of the "nested matrix" camp - those who think that the reason Neo can control the sentinels at the end of the movie is because the "real" world is, in fact, another matrix. I believe that Neo has this real world ability (no quotes) because he is now part-machine. The natural resolution in this scenario is that machines and humans realize their inter-dependence and must combine as the yin and yang to advance together (translation: big fight with Agent Smith).

What Goldman left out of his revelation as to the ending was the fact that it's been scattered with more shouts of "It's going to suck!" than I can count.

Your prize for figuring it out is preconcived cynasism and contempt.


One of the many great things about the Matrix Reloaded is how much discussion it's stirred up. Everyone wants to know what exactly was going on and how it ends. Inherently, the process of trying to work that out becomes somewhat of a philisophical debate.

The "how will it end" question quickly becomes not so much a matter of fact, but a matter of what whoever hypothosizing wants. It's a surogate for how we view our own realities. Evident in both our outcomes and the terminology we apply to the onscreen world ("back on earth" as used to describe the setting outside the Matrix, for example). What's really going to happen in Revolutions becomes somewhat secondary. There's a lot of fun in that.

Fun in the fact that there aren't any real facts. It's all imagination. The Wachowskis are free to do as they please. Inside or outside the soft boundries they've set.


Which will they pick?

It doesn't matter. ...To be proud of the fact that you're playing the odds and they'll go with inside is well, masturbatory. It has far less to do with an idea that sparks imagination as it does with being the one that "get's it right". I think that's missing part of the point.


How do I want it to end?

I want it to continue the theme of expectation. Both in the context of charecters within the movie and with the audience. I want Neo and Trinity's expectations of what love is to be the very thing holding them back. I want it to end with some crazy starchild nothing is real mind fuck. I want Revolutions to piss as many people off and to win as many people over as Reloaded. I want it to continue to fuck with our expectations as to what will happen when you sit down to watch a movie. I want people to continue to debate an abstract notion of infinity as it relates to a special effect. And so on....

Yet, I'll be fine if it doesn't.... even if it costs me an extra dollar.

Part of the fun comes from the possabilities.

The only way I could leave the theater unhappy, is if it turns out to be uninspired.

I highly doubt that will be the case.

I'm so famous.

Sometimes I just wanna write about nothing. Subject matter obscured as if there was a subject at all. "As if they were yourself passing yourself -- Not smiling." I just wanna say As If. Just Like. Like. Something between this. Like the last time you told me nevermind. Just like obscurity. It's important to me. And I couldn't say why.

It doesn't mean I don't know.

It means less than that. It means something like a math problem. Two trains traveling nowhere eventually get there, and collide. For their own good something happens. As if it's important to them.

It's like signing to yourself in the shower when no one is home. Just like a string of words related. And the sentence they made.

Just like the last time.

Today was supposed to be the day my gums would be ready to crunch again. Ha! Last night I ate a french fry. It wasn't very crispy. I was trying to be careful... but it snuck it's way to the dark tender corners of my mouth. It didn't really hurt. Until a few hours later... the whole lower right hand gum was swollen. It still is today. It doesn't really hurt all that much. But it doesn't go away either. My big crunch day has been delayed.

Tonight I learned that Tupac Shakur was ordered killed by Suge Knight. The man sitting next to him in the car where he was murdered. Suge then covered it up by having bank robbing LAPD officers kill Biggie Smalls.

At one point I was halfway convinced that Mr. Smalls was killed by a girl named Jesse who hurled an oversized stale bran muffin through his truck window.

Actually, I never really believed that. I just made a lot of baseless accusations. Who knew the truth would be nearly as absurd.

I don't even know the truth.

But now I've seen the "book-keeper" cry in prison, wrought with guilt. That's fairly convincing.

Not that I really care.

I'm more interested in our interest in some secret layer. Mobsters and conspiracy theories and spies and intricately planned heisting. Even celebrities with 'secret' lives nothing like the ones they openly admit are just an act.

Everybody is looking for something other than the every day (standard blanket statement disclaimers apply). Sometimes going so far as to invent it themselves. But mostly just experiencing vicariously... watching it fade... and looking wide eyed for the next time there's something more to all this time than time allows. A disposable experience.

I have a hypothesis. But that implies science. Rigorous objective testing to prove or disprove. I don't care much for the data or discussion. I'd rather just pretend it's true and see what happens.

So I will.

Everyone is legit. It's nice. Things didn't really seem done when it was just me -- while everyone else was "grinding out". But now they are. Done and done.

With some extras ... like expensing some of my dental costs. That's nice too.

Now all the things I was waiting to get a job for, no longer have to wait. Like moving. Things were good at 2500 Sutter. But it's time for a change.

The housing market in San Francisco is considerably better. There's far more stuff, for a bit cheaper, than there was two years ago. Unfortunately, most of it is on the outskirts of neighborhoods I'd like to live in.

It's a good thing I've got nearly two months... Plenty of time for something nice to show up.

...the monkeypox is here.

The Centers for Disease Control, or CDC, said Monday more than 30 other people in three midwestern states - Wisconsin, Indiana and Illinois - are suspected of contracting the disease. Investigators said all those infected had contact with sick prairie dogs, believed to be the carrier.

St. Louis - As seen by a boy who grew up in a box car:

The Arch is freaking gigantic.

Today for lunch we had a tasty bean salad.

Citrus Bean Salad
organic kidney beans, orange supreme, lime juice, diced red onions diced english cucumbers, cilantro, extra virgin olive oil

It was delicious. But not all the beans were cooked all the way. A few hard(er) ones snuck in. And went straight for my tender gums. I think the gum gave before the bean. It's been exceptionally sore ever since.

Tonight I'll attempt to heal it with Montego Bay Chilled Fruit Soup and Country Red Mashed Potatoes.

I think the odds are in my favor.

Sorry for the lack of updates.

I'm feeling much better. Just a bit sore. Mostly if I talk too much.

And that's fine.
...i needed some quiet.
I always do.
...so I turn up my headphones.

I got tired of writing about my teeth. My mouth was feeling better. But I still couldn't sleep. At all. I just wanted to be healthy. So I stopped blogging.

I'm not sure how thats related.

Today Google made an honest woman of me. Real full time employment. If it was two months ago I'd be pretty excited. Maybe even one month ago. As it stands, bullshit and a four figure dental bill took the edge off. Not that it isn't good news. Job security at a job you love to do is the way to go. But you'll have to excuse me if I don't say thank you...

I'm just sleepy.